i’m hooked,
these needles have pulled
at my heartstrings and
started to weave the
threads together in
a tight basket pattern
that binds me strand by strand in itself
and tugs unyieldingly
if i get too far away
it’s love
and i don’t know how it happened
ab teri mohabbat laagi, mere Saheb
it took years for feelings to grow
and now it has become clear
where i am always being pulled
shukhran lillah wal hamdulillah
think, if someone were to be given
a softer heart,
one that was able to feel the soul
in everything
~
we came when called just enough times
that the abode before us consented to transform our lives
a place where love literally throbs,
the heart and soul of the structure that is the centre of our lives
all of us have become so much more and less than we were, here.
~
the centre has become my centre
and has captured the centre at the centre of me
it spills over its edges into the rest of my life and
makes the rest of my life part of itself too
i am pulled here unyieldingly
as though in the arms of a vortex spinning so fast i can’t even tell
where it begins and where i end
there is nothing i feel that doesn’t get resolved
once i’ve come back to my centre;
not a single worry that isn’t smoothed, a fear that isn’t untangled
once i’ve been here at my core
~
the people here are like the sound inside a seashell,
telling stories of separate drops flowing together to their ultimate end,
each one making an impression on my heart
~
this place makes me face those things about myself that i would rather ignore,
such as my obvious unworthiness
but of course, that is exactly why i’ve come
~
brother, you might do it better than me
and you might know something i don’t
but i won’t hold it against you
since you are here to show me what i could be,
not what i am not
and thank God, thank you, for giving us this place
to come to.
This poem, written shortly after the fifth anniversary of the opening of the Ismaili Centre Toronto, is meant to capture the deep meaning that spaces of community and worship can bring to our lives over time, as well as the newfound meaning we can obtain from the seemingly familiar by engaging on many different levels. This piece is a followup to the original “the centre (2014)”, available to read here.
Photo by Hasan Almasi on Unsplash.
the sun rose for the first time for us today
the moon showed its face over the trees
for the first time,
the only time necessary for us to understand that what we love
is the only thing that can be Loved,
the only thing that can possibly Be
~
We’ve gathered to bear witness to the origin of everything;
The place of peace, where everything has been vested
Not yet manifest, but quite seemingly on the verge
~
maybe if we all sit together
on our humble knees
we might fit together like an intricate mosaic
displaying all of the colours that make up
the world in all its beauty
and maybe, You could do us the immense favour
of gazing here
~
Every country is your country
Every seat, is your seat
Every banda is your banda
Whether he knows it or not
~
we might be far from you but we want to be closer
and if you allow us, we will come together
and in coming together, feel your presence through each other, near and far
~
Every place is in congregation
Every one of us, your jamaat
Photo by Tyler van der Hoeven on Unsplash.
~
We all, are all waiting
Holding on to our hearts, unable to fully breathe
~
Some of us run, shedding layers,
while others wrap ourselves in new meaning
Some of us dissolve,
while others come together forming an intricate crystal
Some of us steep,
Some of us weep,
Some of us cocoon
and some of us unfurl
None can sleep
Our pores open
And we all brighten
And lighten
And fade
As the sum of our somes
become One.
take a step back from the frontline
– it is not your place
remove yourself from the head of the table
– it is not your place
step back from the position you’ve given yourself
in the world where you give yourself such prominence
those strings you think you hold,
are an illusion
if we told you to build a mountain,
or if we commanded you to fly,
you could do nothing
faced with the impossible,
you would harbour no illusion
of your own inherent limits
if you were to try, you could only whisper a prayer,
knowing you would have to rely
on Someone
see what you’ve forgotten in your careful preparation;
see what you’ve overlooked in your careful research?
the ant does not concern itself with the possibility of an eclipse
remember your role; your place.
the signs of maturity within us say:
o dear heart, the friend will come again tomorrow
the friend lays beside, though he may rest elsewhere;
the friend knows you by your eye
the friend loves you more than you can know,
in dimension after dimension untold
~
look with a different eye
and you will see him holding you together from within
look with a different eye
that you may know him even after he departs forever from sight
~
o my love:
you are my footing, my keystone,
my place of rest,
my pilgrimage, my refuge, my harbour,
my nest.
today even the sky refuses
to see that sun stands behind it;
that sun shines all around
doesn’t sky know that all he must do
is to step his Self out of sun’s way?
~
last year’s trash comes loose from street-side icebergs
i walk, careful not to get my boots wet
eyes looking down,
my Self, growing ever larger
because i refuse to see what is all around
behind me, someone chants,
something eerie, but something familiar
i listen more closely:
rain, rain, go-a-way, come-again-another-day
rain, rain, go-a-way, come-again-another-day
~
silly grown-up! have you forgotten what it was like
to be so small that surrender was no choice;
to be so small that you knew you had no control?
the little girl isn’t happy or sad,
she just is
who are you, to feel the world on your shoulders?
tell me, who are you?
the little girl isn’t worried or anxious;
she holds momma’s hand
with momma there, gloom is simply gloom
that will go away,
that may come another day
but momma will be there!
~
whose hand do you hold, silly grown-up?
